I woke up today not wanting to get out of bed. Why start something when you know how it will play out. I’d much rather be back in my dreams. Last night’s especially. She was there. Even though all I could see was the endless moonlit sea, I knew she was there. Anyway, I should probably get up; I’m sick of hearing my phone yelp at me.
I roll out, and it begins. I start another day ritualistically by turning on my laptop, grabbing a pair of boxers, and heading to the shower.
It’s that time of the year again. It’s time for getting my ducks in order for college. Fortunately I have a few double digit checks sprawled around my room.
Alright, next step, brush teeth and get dressed. I feel like I’m in my own personal cult. How standard. I close my eyes and take a break from looking at myself in the mirror. I noticed that I kept them closed longer than usual. My eyes finally open from their extended sleep. In front of me I saw myself, or at least I thought I was. I should have been. I feel cold. A sudden feeling of familiarity crept up my spine. I felt the slight chill of the air creep through every pore of my body. It’s beautiful. The ceiling seems to reach into the openness above. The sky void of any foreign presence caters for the giant orb of soft light that kisses the wet floor under my feet. No, this wet floor is deeper than any sea and more expansive than any universe. For a moment there is an eon of time in front of me; I am its center. She’s here. I can hear her calling me, almost yelping for help. Could this be it?
The blades above me are moving at superhuman speeds. My sheets are not within range worth exerting effort. Ok, I guess I should actually get up now.
After finishing up my daily morning activities, I head out the door for another day of classes which turns out to be another day of not having class according to the note on the class room door. This is the 3rd day in a row now, poor guy. I start thinking that maybe he slept in. with that my mind drifts into thought. I’ve had this dream for three nights straight. Every night, I see the same sea, the same moon, and the same sky. It’s so still and quite, and that girl. What’s the point? What does it mean? Oh well, who cares. I guess there’s no better time than now to catch up on some T.V time, even though I’m sure that nothing will be on.
As quickly as that begins it ends; I move to listening to music. I can’t help but thinking about the dream. At this point it’s been etched into my memory with a three foot blade. My eyes are closed. I didn’t even notice the phenomena. All I know is that I like this song. I open my eyes to see someone just off in the distance; close enough to tell it’s a guy but, far enough to not make out any features. He must be lost. I can feel his puzzlement. He seems to be looking for something, but he might not realize it, but there aren’t a lot of places for anything to hide, and there are only three things out here for him to find: the sky, the water, and himself. I guess I should let him know the obvious.
Normally you expect people to acknowledge you when you say hi, but this definitely was not the case. This guy is strange. When he talks I can hear him but I can’t make out anything he’s saying. I apparently put very little effort into looking at him as well as listening to him since can’t create any picture of him in my mind. I decide to join this man in his grand search. I Might as well pass the time somehow.
Hours pass. I wake up finding myself passed out on the wet ground only to open my eyes to the sickening image of the man standing in the same place I found him gazing out around as if he’s looking for the moon and can’t find it. Strange enough, the moon is still right where I left it hours before. What is going on?
That nap must have done my eyes some good. For whatever reason, I seem to finally collect a clear picture of the man’s eyes. His eyes, how can I have not noticed them before? His eyes blaze with a fire so vicious my own eyes start to twitch. His gaze could pierce pure darkness itself. Yes, darkness. I step back, or so I think. I’m fixated on his face. My gaze turns critical. Still, all I can see is his eyes. It’s cold. Who is this man? The water is still reflecting the moons calm. It’s her. She’s calling me. I feel a tap on the shoulder so I glace behind me find nothing. I turn back to look at the man. He’s crying. I can’t see it, but for some reason I know he is. My hand feels wet. Coincidently he looks down at his hand just as I look at mine.
I knew I was forgetting something. I find the strength to sit up and share some of the lovely liquid my dog decided to give to me back with him. Huskies are meant to be dry towels anyway right? He won’t mind. Actually, I just find it nice to share.
It’s that time again. Now begins the ritualistic winding down for the night: brushing my teeth, taking a shower, and telling the one I love goodnight. I hope to see her tonight. For some reason, the image of that man came to mind. Our conversation was pretty standard tonight. A kiss on the lips and a sweet goodnight ends a day and brings a night that should never have come. There was no dream that night.
It’s late or early; one of the two. Where is she? Just like that my heart sinks through my chest to the floor under my bed. It’s cold. Why are my eyes shaking? I dismissed the thought just as soon as I had got it. It’s dark. Outside the moon was knocking at my window. I quietly step out bed. It’s that voice. It’s her. She’s here, but faint. I disregard the thought. I slide the knife out that is hidden behind the door on top of a small bookshelf. She’s here. She has to be. I creep out the door and into the blackness no longer in the moonlit comfort of my room. Quickly and quietly I make my way to the stairs. I can see nothing but the moonlit man in front, or so I thought. There is nothing but the void. This black ocean is maddening. I’m moving faster now, 15 steps turn into hundreds. The woman’s call is getting louder and louder. She’s yelping out for help! It feels like hours go by. I can’t get there fast enough! Just like that, time stopped.
I never make it to the bottom. It’s cold. My skin turns to ice; my heart to stone. There was nothing but silence. I now know what I’m looking for, but I don’t move from that step. For that moment, the moon is still for hours kneeling to lost beauty draped in red velvet. There’s no more call. My gaze becomes more vicious by the moment. I can’t see her face. I don’t need to. The water beneath me is no longer still. The moon blocked by black clouds. All that’s left is the pain I feel inside. She’s calling me. She’s here. I can feel her. I was too late. In the middle of the raging storm inside I remember everything, every year, every day and every moment. And this is the end.
The voice is louder now, and I feel myself shake. I can feel her touch, and smell her love. I can see her face… I can feel her soft lips come down to mine. She smiles and says good morning. I just stare blankly back almost void of all emotion. Finally, I muster up the strength to grin back. My heart feels warm. Yea, good morning.
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